Monday, June 2, 2008

You just had to go and open your big mouth


Taking a nice long sip of iced tea after a coming in from a refreshing bike ride around Cranford, I switched on the TV to see what was going on with the Yankees game.

5-4 Yanks in the bottom of the 7th at Minnesota. Petite was still pitching and had only thrown 89 pitches thus far. The old man's still got it. He gets Casilla to ground out to Cano for the 2nd out of the inning. And then all of a sudden...

"Petite sure is looking good tonight. He's thrown 90 pitches and 60 of them for strikes, a good ratio...Maybe its not such a crazy idea to send him out there for the 8th with Joba pitching tomorrow, give their bullpen a break... Andy's had leads of 2-0, 4-1 and now 5-4 tonight, we'll see if he can hold on to this one now."

At this point I'm starting to get nervous. Color commentators have never really done it for me (with the obvious exception of the eloquent and always entertaining Walt 'Clyde' Frazier). They are usually lacking in genuine insight and are just plain dull. However, standing in the kitchen, watching the YES network, I start to get a bad feeling. As much as I might not like to admit it, I tend to be a little superstitious. Watching Super Bowl XLII, I held onto the same beer bottle long after I had emptied its contents simply because it had been in my hand when the Giants marched down the field earlier in the 4th quarter and scored on Tyree's catch. I do believe in jinxes. I do believe in a lucky pair of boxers. When something works, go with it until it doesn't anymore. Especially with something as fragile as the Yankees 2008 season. At this point, the franchise might careen into the abyss if someone sneezes at the wrong time.

So back to the story, I'm standing there, staring at the screen while topping myself off with another round of iced tea when I hear this,
"Andy Petite has yet to give up a home run to a left handed hitter so far this year... Incredibly Joe Mauer has yet to get in the HR column"

Not 15 seconds later Mauer rockets a pitch on the inside of the plate into the right field stands. Now, would this have happened if these numb nuts hadn't said anything? Who knows. Its as if there is some slumbering jinx monster in the room and by saying something as stupid as this, he is going to wake up and punish you by fucking over your team. This is exactly why no one talks to a pitcher in the late innings of a no-hitter or perfect game. Its why when your team has been perfect from the foul line all game, you don't say something like "Man...have we missed a foul shot tonight? We're on fire!". The universe is a fickle mistress, try not to upset her.

4 comments:

Mike Rotch said...

There is no such thing as a jinx, get your head out of your ass. People never care to notice the many, many times that somebody said something jinxing and no jinx occurred. For instance, you think that was the first time this season some announcer has noted that Mauer hasn't homered yet? I guarantee it wasn't, but amazingly he didn't hit a home run any of those other times.

Keeping a beer bottle in your hand? You think that matters when probably 90% of other Giants fans got new beers or didn't cross their fingers or do any other superstitious act? Why didn't they ruin it for everyone? What are we all in our own personal fucking universe?

And by the way, it's different when people on the team itself ignore the pitcher's no-hitter or don't talk about being perfect from the free throw line, because that can actually mentally affect the players. What you, me, or Michael Kay says in the announcing booth can't.

joe said...

Your comment ignorantly misses the point that I am, in fact, the center of the universe.

IGAB said...

i don't believe in sports franchises

Andy McKenzie said...

no birthday post for the kid?