I was running a little late today and I had to hustle to catch the 6:03 train out of Penn station today. Much like all other trains at that time of day it was absolutely packed. To get to the train from the main station you have to take either the escalator or elevator down to the tracks. They only announce the track number that a train is on 10 minutes in advance of the departure so its always a free for all as everyone fights for positioning. There is just one tiny door leading to the escalator and hundreds of people pushing each other to get through this one opening. Try to imagine a human meat grinder. That's essentially what it looks like.
So, on the train I was one of the last people to get on and considered myself lucky that I found some room to stand where I could hold onto a handle nearby. Trying to stand on the train sans some sort of grounding is a difficult proposition, anchoring yourself somehow is obviously key here. Not two feet from me were two older women sitting down with sunglasses on. The one on the left, probably in her late 50's had a large rolling suitcase standing up against the side of the car right next to my legs. I happened to nudge the suitcase at one point which elicited a questionable look from its owner. Not wanting to seem too obvious, she waited about 5 seconds before moving it into the aisle, the main thoroughfare of the train, so it would be right at her side and not within the reach of this stranger's clumsy legs.
The feeling that someone is nervously eying you, making sure you don't try to pull anything funny, definitely borders on paranoia but is hard to put out of your mind. Like walking behind someone when every so often they steal anxious glances over their shoulder at you to make sure you're not creeping up on them. I received substantially more of these kinds of looks while I was growing my beard but it still happens occasionally.
This was one of those times. So this woman, put her huge piece of luggage right in the way of where everyone was trying to walk just to get it away from me. Had she had a bad experience somewhere in her past that would teach her to be overly careful with her things around strangers? What did she think I was going to do to her precious suitcase?
My mom had an experience at her store in NYC a long time ago where a group of robbers came in and stuck up the place, had her at gunpoint, and stole a ton of merchandise. Ever since that encounter she has become extremely protective and careful around anyone she feels could represent a similar threat to her. Should she really be blamed for exhibiting a mindset that could be described as xenophobic, since it was instilled in her by such a traumatic experience? As people grow older and have more life experiences, they are going to be exposed to
Could this be why as people grow older they tend to become more conservative? They feel that they have lived and learned, and thus know everything that they possibly need to know about how the world works? Its easy to be idealistic, open-minded and think the world could be a perfect and happy place if you haven't been confronted face to face with its harsh realities. If someone has fucked with your suitcase in the past, of course you're going to be extra careful that it doesn't happen again. If someone robs your store, of course you're going to take extra security measures and be careful about who you let in. However, by themselves, these acts could be construed as paranoid, racist or discriminatory.
So whats the bottom line here? Should someone who fears for his/her safety, with good reason or not, be hesitant to act cautiously just because they could possibly be seen as xenophobic or paranoid? I don't know the answer to this.
I saw a quote somewhere saying essentially, be kind because everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. I think this is a great way to approach encounters with others. Knowing that there are (usually) reasons for people to act the way they do, it is best not to make assumptions or hold it against people when they do not act the way that you think they should.
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